Hello Friends! It's been too long. hope that you are all having a great summer. Only a little more than a week and school will be back in session! Very scary isn't it! I just wanted to take a moment and testify to you about a movie I have recently rediscovered. For those of you that have not yet seen the classic "Pooh's Hefalump Movie", let me tell you, you are missing out on one of the greatest theatrical experiences of your life. I cried, I laughed... In fact I laughed so hard I wet myself! Then I laughed at that. How bout it for the wonderful new music here at the Bob Davis Xanga site huh? There is nothing in life that is quite so delightful as the smash hit "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts". You can't be upset when you hear a song of this calliber. Wishing you all the best of luck and excitment this semester. In honor of the upcomming semester, I have decided to dedicate today's top 10 list to my favorite fantasy college classes. Enjoy!

Top 10 List
Top Ten Classes I Wish Were At Baker University
10. The Art of Beer Foam
9. Dirt and You: An Intellectual Look at Dirt
8. Rush Limbaugh: A Look At Practical Politics
7. The Waffle House Menu: Recent Discoveries
6. Understanding iHop
5. The Letter "B" and it's use in Contemporary Society
4. How to Laugh without Peeing
3. Mullets: Drunken Mistake or Mental Handicapp?
2. Stairs and You
1. Poisonous Stuff

Bob's Poetry Corner
Of all the fishes in the brook
I'd like to be a bass
And climb upon the slippery banks
Then slide down on my hands and knees.

All My Best,
                Bob Davis

Hey Guys!

Don't you worry...Bob Davis is still alive!

So here's story time:

About two months ago, Bob got out of bed only to discover that his room had been flooded by the down pour of Ramen Noodles from the previous night. He also realized he had gone bald...yes folks ...bald. He was able to find a wig that makes him look very studly. And so his gloriously interesting and at times balding life went on.

Then about a month ago, he realized he was lonely. Sad Day. So he went and bought a goat. The goat's name is Herbert. We are just the narrators so we can't really tell you what he does with the goat...you'll have to ask him. You can usually find them together at Waffle House...the ghetto one in Olathe.

Finally, yesterday, Mr. Davis become a proud papa. We aren't sure where the child came from but his name is Collin. Collin is a strange child. Bob worries about him. Without realizing it Collin had developed into a toothpick. Unbeknownst to Bob (and Collin) Bob used the only toothpick he could find and unfortunately killed Collin with a big piece of broccoli. Sad Day.

These are just a few tidbits of Bob Davis' intriguing saga. If you want more of these gloriously retold stories you can contact Bob and he will get in touch with us(the narrators). It is for our protection we ask that you go through these steps. Thank you.

Greetings from Bobland!

How is life everone? I hope that it is going well. I however suck at life, still, and remain lost and confused searching for purpose unrelentlessly at The Lodge. I'll let you know when I find it. So I can't believe I thought I could handle a semester like this. I must have overlooked that sad fact that I am an incompotent obstinante person. Damn it! I hate it when I forget that and think that I can do something crazy like succeed! You wanna hear something funny? Get this... So I talked to my advisor and I'm going to try and graduate next December, a year and a half early! HAHAHAHA!!! Can you imagine how incredible this failure is going to be? Oh Jesus! I'm as dumb as a rock! Any inatimate object for that matter! Oh well. In recent events We had a great concert last night and got to see Doug Talley at The Blue Room! Why can't I have skills like that. Damned again. And this morning I saw the episode of Saved By The Bell where Kelly and Zach start dating. Zach is such a bastard. Kelly is my girl!!! Again my life is shit. On a much happier note, The Baker Jazz Patrol is having their semi annual jazz band tour and after party at my mecca, The Lodge. I hope that I'll have enough cheer to see Jerry Garcia again. That was really a good time. If you ever get the chance to meet him, he has a lot of insightful things to say. Also check out Mary and Steven's xanga! I'd tell you the news, but I don't know if I'm allowed to yet! Congratulations P and Yankee Bitch! I expect to be Godfather, when the time comes. (P.S. That's not the news! Yet!) And last but not least Grandma & Terese are comming home soon! Yea! Our little African Queen has survived Malaria, intestanal nourishment, and urinating in holes! We're all so proud! And Terese has been surviving... uh... College... and... farm people... and... ... ... Other things so horible... they need not be mentioned. Yea! I'll try and write again next month! Stay tuned!

Today's Top 10 List

The Top Ten Least Hyphenated Words

10. Lick-proof
9. Owl-flavored
8. Hat-resistant
7. Trunk-ripened
6. Clinton-scented
5. Post-moistened
4. Hitler-riffic
3. Casket-tested
2. Pants-happy
1. Mary-proofed

And Now it's Time For...
Bob's Poetry Corner

snap snap snap snap

Look at the llama
Isn't it pretty
Beautiful llama
You know
Your Mom looks kind of like a llama

snap snap snap snap

All My Best,
                Bob Davis

This Week in Bob Davis:

Hey Guys!

so school has started up officially (yuck) and my ass is already thinking about skipping classes.  it sucks that i have to be in the BFE (Baker) at fucking 8 am and not leave till 12 hours later.  but it is so good to see the baker crew again and so good to be back at school (even though it sucks the very soul out of my body)

one of the things i love about baker is that one of my professors writes these terrible worksheets that ask the same question 10 damn times.  the woman is like the head of the KMEA but can't write a simple worksheet with more than one question.  she also makes a great drink "can of beer, can of rum, skip and go naked!" haha, i love baker

but we have experienced one of the greatest tragedies in all the world....Olathe North High School lost to Olathe fucking south.  poop on them.

and then saturday baker lost to the freaking catholics.  (Benadictine) i love catholics, but not these catholics......grrrrrrr.....why cant any of our sports be decent??????

hence the Top Ten List of this post

TOP TEN THINGS I LIKE SHOUTING AT OLATHE NORTH/BAKER U FOOTBALL GAMES:

10: Maybe if we put shiny things in the endzone, our players will be attracted to it.
9: The only reason olathe south/benadictine won is because their players are on performance enhancing drugs.
8. Maybe if we injure all of their players, we'll have a better chance.  hit em hard!  we dont want them to limp away from this!!!
7. You wuss! Get up and play some football.
6. You are a bitch! (after the game, bob takes his anger out on his friend, and xangratery Mary)
5. I think i need a delectable blueberry muffin to cheer me up
4. Why are you all playing like a bunch of Kansas City Faggots?
3. Nice Toss.  Next time throw it to one of our players!
2. A rope, A tree, LETS HANG THE REFEREE
1. Well this sucks, lets go to the Lodge.

BOB'S POETRY CORNER:

Waffle House is really great,
Best damn food i ever ate.
Time's no matter, it's open late, 

I enjoy pie.

(SNAPS)

so i guess that concludes this segment of  This Week In Bob.  i'm your host, mary peterson. 

leave some spiffy comments

The Best,
         Bob Davis

This week in Bob Davis.

I think that ive decided that i'm the luckiest bastard in the world.  And that my brother is the coolest.  (didnt think i'd ever say that did you??) Ariel and i started to clean the concession stands seeing as hell is over (hell being baseball season) and my brother called me and told me he won concert tickets to Journey.  well i'm a Styx fan but i was like "Hey...Free concert!" so we picked up Mary and hit the road.  carrying our lawn chairs and singing wheel in the sky we walk to the box office and realize that we dont need chairs.  we ditch the chairs knowing that the good honest people of wyandotte county wouldnt steal them (and they didnt).

the concert was great and i got so into it so i started yelling out random james brown lingo (Hey...Popcorn....Sex Machine!)

and proceeded to tell the crowd that i was "Trippin on E"  quite humorous.

all in all, a good night.

Todays Top Ten List

Top 10 Headlines on Hell's Newspaper

10. Ice water discontinued...again.

9. New Waffle House opens.  Citizens flock.

8. Marlboro buys out Camel...Damnit.

7. All residents to be shot in the head twice today.

6. Just announced, things to feel itchier.

5. Aloe vera prices skyrocket.

4. Democratic National Convention to be held downtown

3. Congress announces stabbing torture to be done with butter knives instead of spoons.

2. John Kerry, prospective candidate for presidency in 2008.

1.  Hey, we have cable!

i dont have a marching show of the day but dont be upset.  everyone have a wonderful day.

The Best,

Bob Davis

(via his xangratery, Mary Peterson)